|Posted by Arcover on December 19, 2014 at 12:35 AM|
Spending time with my pride has really helped me over the past few months since we came together. I don't quite remember when we formed our merry band but it was sometime earlier this year, and we're not a physical pride but there's still something personal about our friendship. I didn't know cats could work so well together, even though all of us are so diverse and mostly solitary in nature. It's like we belong together like this. Like when young adult humans come together in close groups, but we're all werecats.
Being with the others gives me perspective. We weres spend so much time online that we can become separated from who we are in real life. The people we are when we type away at each other and talk about shifting and supernatural things...sometime those people aren't who we really are. We become someone different when we spend too much time online. Our perspective changes. Things that aren't important take up all our time. We aren't the same. We split ourselves between the humans we are when we're off line and the were-beasts we are when we're online. It almost creates a false reality for us by separating the two halves of us like that. But skyping with the pride is different. When we come together we are both weres and normal people at the same time. Mostly we're just a bunch of goofball kids. We weres act different when we have to see each other face to face. The person on the other end gets to see your face and hear you talk. They see how 'normal' you look, they hear your cadence when you speak and you become real to them. And in becoming real to them you become real to yourself. Your were-self isn't some alias on the internet anymore it's all you. The person on the other end can see you as a human and as a were now, there is no separating the two... and the more of you hang out together the more you realize that you all really are just a bunch of young hooligans haha. A bunch of kids with great potential and great power, but still a group of teens/young adults who probably prefer playing and goofing off over most other things. Which is where we should be since that's what young adult animals tend to do in the wild. Adult in body. Child at heart.
I've realized that I am a pokemon playing, sketchbook toting, sleep lovig, big-dreams-having young adult, first. Whether I'm a lion young adult or a human young adult doesn't matter, I'm a young adult on all fronts. And I'm an apex predator second. Online we like to think of ourselves as these big powerful animals that can crush puny mortals, which we are, but that isn't who we are. It's just apart of what we are. 'Who' comes first. For some reason I knew that already but experiencing it feels different. Like an epiphany, where something that previously seemed insignificant has become vital. Shifting comes easier for me now that I've spent more time with the pride. I'm learning to be who I am in front of others like me and that somehow allows what I am to come through more clearly. Having a group of others who I know and talk to face to face helps my frame of mind. And right now, despite how much I can feel like a bad ass winter lion descended from royalty and entitled to all that I survey, I'm still just a kid trying to learn to be an adult. And I'm ok with that.