all the first questions you may have
|Posted by Star 2.0 on April 25, 2014 at 12:15 PM||comments (11)|
Ever get that feeling that you've experienced something before?
Déjà vu as slang is thinking you recognize a simple word, person, or situation. That's just having something "at the tip of your toungue".
But that's not really what Déjà Vu is
True Déjà vu is the result of having a prophetic dream.
I didn't realize this untill I actually had a prophetic dream.
In the dream, I was in the orchestra room. There's a student (we'll call her Jen for identiy sake) who always uses a mute on her violin, and it was always a joke that we'd steal it one day.
so I hear her voice "...I don't give a fuck, it's not your fucking place to touch my fucking stuff"
and then the leader of the bass section going "yeahhh... It was funny the first few times, but now..."
and then the guy who nicked her mute going "what? I can't hear you!" (Mute joke).
i woke up to this seemingly trivial dream, but for some reason it stuck with me for a week.
eventually, I forgot about it.
A month goes by, and we just finished an orchestra concert. We were in the orchestra room, packing our instruments, when for some reason I thought of that random dream again. 5 minutes later, I see/hear the exact same conversation that I dreamt WHILE the dream was playing in my head.
I experienced such a strong feeling of Déjà Vul that I actually couldn't walk straight. I stumbled into a few stands, and then sat down in a state of disbelief.
To summarize: Déjà Vu is the result of having prophetically dreamt the exact same series of events once before. This mean, if you have experienced a strong déjà vu, you have a prophetic dream before, and you have the potential to do it again.
I'm serious when I say this; Keep a dream diary/journal. You never know if your seemingly useless dream isn't predicting trategy or fortune for you.
|Posted by Szayel on March 30, 2014 at 12:20 PM||comments (9)|
It's been a while since I wrote on this site. To be honest, it's been a while since I've been "active" on this site in general. I hope no one takes it that I don't care or that I've given up, as I just get really busy. I'm starting to do more journalism, and that combined with my school schedule leaves me with just enough time to take a shower every night. (And sometimes I don't even get that. Yeah, it's that bad...)
One of the reasons why I can be absent though is because I can trust that everyone won't go ape-shit every time I step out to get a breather. I'm not saying that this site has a buddy-buddy community where everyone is holding hands and singing the theme song to Attack on Titan (Because, whatever), and this site has had its drama moments, but for the most part you're all pretty cool. It's one of the benefits of having a non-hierarchy site, IMO, as everyone has an equal opinion and can speak their mind. I love discussion that can be done with total respect.
Now to talk about why I was absent:
Sorry, I was planning for it to be more dramatic than that. Maybe a, "Szayel was out gathering info on a new clan of werewolf hunters while creating a draft for his next movie." That would be nice. Then I could legitimately have an excuse for my absence(s).
In truth, the most dramatic thing that happened to me was that I got sick with strep. Which is funny because I had totally forgot that yes, I, Szayel, can indeed get sick. The last time I got this sick was when I was a young kid, and ironically it was from the same thing. I don't remember it being such a pain in the ass though...
The pain pills didn't work, so unless I was dumping them by the bottle, I got to enjoy first hand what a bunch of small-mouthed little shits called "bacteria" can do to your tonsils. Fuck you bacteria.
After I recovered from being sick, one interesting thing that happened was that I seemed to move to a new "phase" in my werwolfism; this is another reason why I have been absent lately.
I'm at the point now, where I completely accept, if not mostly understand my werewolfism. It's like, I have my usual depressing feelings about being isolated from the people around me because of what--who-- I am, but I am no longer affected by them.
In fact, it's sort of comforting. With clarity comes confidence. I don't feel like I "need" to go out and find other werewolves to relate to. If every werewolf died except for a special few ( ) I honestly wouldn't be too devastated. It would be like, "Eh, at least I still have Chipotle."
Which I guess is wrong... but it's honest. I've moved from isolation to self-awareness. Maybe even instinct.
|Posted by Arcover on January 7, 2014 at 2:15 AM||comments (6)|
Anubis asked for it and since I'm wide awake at 2:55am I might as well write the shifting method post we talked about.
I wouldn't say I have actual methods for shifting. Lots of people like to post meditations and visualization practices that garuantee you'll change your hand into that of a wolf. First I will say that when it comes to my shifting, I don't shift one body part then another. Once the energy starts flowing it becomes a tidal wave and I have no control over the shift. I can't contain the energy into just my hand or just my leg, the shift is the shift. It's one complete action that takes place in one instant. There's an unfathomable amount of energy involved in my shifts and most other shifting experiences I've heard about in other weres. So my "shifting method" is more of a lifestyle than one method that can make something happen without any previous preparation.
When it comes to my shifting I first take time to understand what I am. It took me years to iron out how my wereism works but now that I know myself I am that much stronger as a werecreature.
Step 1 of Arc's Shifting Method is to know what you are. ALSO do not limit or doubt yourself. Fear will kill your spirit. Don't let any form of fear you have take root. Resolve the conflict and let it go. If you feel something don't doubt that feeling because it seems improbable. We are all far past the point of living by the rules/limitations of the average human being. Go with what you feel and even if that leads you to a dead end it doesn't mean you haven't learned anything about yourself from the journey.
Step 2 is to learn your triggers. Shifting is all about the triggers. Most mature weres share a few of their triggers with one another. For the predatory weres we all seem to be fighters and hunters. Get us fighting or hunting and we'll be that much closer to shifting. Your triggers activate the animal in your mind, and because your mind has power over your body, it is your mind you must work with before you can physically shift. Become an animal on the inside and your body will be more willing to follow suit.
Bottom Line: It's all about the Mental Shift. Here's a post from another site that talks a bit about it:
Step 3 to shifting is develope a routine with your triggers that builds on your natural energy production abilities. A werecreature is nothing more than a huge energy generator, that's why we can break past the limitations of most other people. Triggers activate the weres ability to produce energy. Working with triggers on a regular basis will raise that energy and allow you to tap into abilities that may have been dormant before.
For example, my top triggers are sleep, eating/drinking, sex, fighting, and hunting. I'm a pretty primal werecreature so my triggers are all rooted in the primal. They're simple but super effective. A good routine that I've been thinking about for myself involves me getting into some form of martial arts. I really wish I didn't have to go to school because school gets in the way of my training. My routine would consist of me taking my martial arts class, going home and eating, sleeping for a very long time (because I'm a cat and I sleep like 15 hours a day), waking up eat more food, then probably sleeping again. Sleep is HUGE for me. It's like my spirit and my body separate and my spirit goes to a really really really energy restoring place then when I wake up and my spirit comes back to my body I feel like I'm vibrating. The more sleep I fit into my schedule the better.
Moral of the "Shifting Method" story? There is no magic shifting method that will yield results after one time. At least not for me. My shifting method is more of a lifestyle. You have to bridge the gap between your animal self and your human self. This means that in your every day human life you can't just day dream about shifting or write posts on forums you have to make room to physically do activities for your were side. There are many times I wish I knew a Were Trainer. You know, like a person who knew how to train young weres to be strong mature werecreatures. Unfortunately I don't know such a person but I do know I need training. Which means I need a daily regiment that involves some of my triggers like I mentioned above. I've also posted blog/forum posts about diet on this site. Changing one's diet to fit their animal side also helps a lot with shifting. Here's the post I wrote about that: http://werewolfswebsite.webs.com/apps/forums/topics/show/8001465-dietary-needs
Spending time with other weres helps trmendously but many of us don't have access to other weres. So it looks like we will all have to train ourselves.
|Posted by Szayel on January 4, 2014 at 9:25 PM||comments (19)|
I was talking to Arcover last night, and one topic that we came across was relationship between the Therian community and the term "werewolf." We talked about it pretty briefly, but we both agreed that werewolves and Therians are not the same. Since I have some spare time, I figured now would be a great time to really delve into the topic of werewolves and Therians, especially since the Teen Wolf poser rush will happen any day now.
For one, Therians and werewolves are not the same thing. At all. Therians are regular humans (I hate using the term human because it makes me sound like an elitist snob, but whatever) that are spiritually connected to an animal. Now because the phrase "an animal" can refer to any animal, it is definitely possible for Wolf Therians to exist-- but even then they are not real werewolves. Because they are only spiritually connected to their animal, they cannot P-shift (Physical shift) like weres can.
Now some Therians might say, "Well, we're the closest things to werewolves or were-creatures in reality, so we might as well be called the same thing!" My response to that? Get over yourselves. I know this might ruffle up a couple of feathers on the Therian community, but I think it's more insulting to actual weres when Therians try to claim that were-creatures aren't real and that they should be considered weres instead. Just because you're complacent with your own self-limits and and shifting system doesn't mean that it is the same thing for everyone else. Werewolves/were-creatures aren't just regular people with animalistic connections; we are literally part animal. We have physical attributes that make us what we are, unlike Therians, and we also have a huge amount of raw Energy that we can store and use (even if it takes difficulty in doing so). Some Therians also try to say that P-shifting (Physical) is impossible, which is perfectly true.
For Therians. Again, werewolves and Therians are simply not on the same level. A Therian cannot shift because a Therian is just an average human with an animal spirit. That may be hard to hear for some people, but that's just how it is. Arcover once said somewhere that Therians and werewolves are treading totally different paths from each other, which is extremely precise. I do believe that some Therians may have a tiny amount of were genes in their body, and we may have once be very similar in the distant past, (as shown in my Werewolf Three Theory blog) but not enough for them to be distinguised as a true were-creature.
Unfortunately, many werewolves tend to get bogged down in the Therian community, and I think that is why the werewolf community is how it is now. Being a werewolf is hard enough, and when you have dozens of people online saying that what you are is impossible, it becomes really easy to accept their claims. Werewolves who may have just discovered themselves are pushed away from even attempting to progress, and they are tricked into believing something they are not. It's pretty depressing, but that's why I am here. My job is to educate people on werewolves so that eventually these misconceptions can be put to rest. It's a long hill to climb, but I'm willing to do it.
P.S: If you have any questions or comments, please post them below! I can use your input to update the blog if need be.
|Posted by Szayel on December 24, 2013 at 10:50 AM||comments (12)|
Yeah, I locked the forums. They're unlocked now, but I did that so I could clean up all the shit that Doc left behind. Sorry that I wasn't on it sooner, I was just out enjoying the holidays with my family. Now that I'm back, though, I'll take care of it.
|Posted by Arcover on December 7, 2013 at 1:40 AM||comments (5)|
May 23, 2013 at 10:20 PM
So I own rats. Two of them. Two girls. One is grey and white and her name is Nel (Neliel tu Oderschvank to be exact), the other is black and white and her name is Halibel (Just Halibel). Owning them is weird for me. It's most definitely different. But I wanted them all the same.
I haven't owned a small animal since I was maybe 7 or 8 years old. And A LOT has changed in the past 13-14 years. For one thing I have awakened as a supernatural creature. And I've become much more rough around the edges when it comes to dealing with small, easily broken animals. I think the girls know this so I appreciate how well they've adapted to being around me.
I feel the rats have taught me a few things. Number one is that I think I like small animals. They require a different type of finesse than large ones do. One thing I had to learn when dealing with them is that I have to move slowly. Could you imagine a huge godzilla sized thing trying to interact with you. Now imagine that huge creature moving fast and always reaching for you. A fast moving godzilla is infinitely more intimidating than a slow moving godzilla.
I've also learned patience. You can't beat the fear out of something. And Halibel has been a fearful one until very very recently. In fact they're playing on the couch with each other now while I type this. Before today Halibel has never done anything in front of me other than hide or shrink away from my hand. Rats are so completely NOT aggressive that I had to learn a new level of gentle that large animals don't tend to require. If I approach them in a bad way they run. I've had to learn how to balance assertiveness with tenderness in order to keep them around. So in a way I have officially learned the fundamentals of rat speak.
Rats have an EXTREMELY jittery energy. Like more jittery than any human could ever get. It's a specific energy that I'd imagine only a rat could have. It's heightened and super-alert and balled up tightly like a bunch of bees swarning inside a small rat shaped box. And yet rats are able to handle this jittery energy relatively calmly. They even manage to sleep, which I totally couldn't do if I were such a tighly wound little creature.
They're so interesting and, in my opinion, are one of very few pet type creatures that still maintain their wild instincts. They still run when something big tries to grab them and they're intelligent enough to recognize individual things and have preferences. You must gain a rat's trust in order to be its friend, which I can most definitely appreciate. I hardly ever make the time to understand prey items. Even though I don't count rats or anything smaller than a deer as a 'prey item' I've realized over the weeks that being close to such creatures does broaden your perspective. I now know a little of what it's like to see the world from the eyes of a rat and I'm learning more about what that's like. It's so terribly different from what I'm used to that it will take a long time before I am a rat master (haha rat master...) but I am trying. Seeing things from their perspective is such a foreign thing I'm going to go out on a limb here and say it's the opposite of what I know and understand. I have so much in common with bears, wild canines and big cats...speaking with rats is a pretty gigantic step, even if it involves such a small creature.
|Posted by Arcover on December 7, 2013 at 1:25 AM||comments (4)|
September 21, 2013 at 4:45 PM
I was giving thought to why I identify with bears today. The canine and the feline parts of me are so apparent. I know what parts of me are canine/feline. I know why and I know how. But the 'bear' feelings have always been kind of a mystery to me. I never quite understood why "bear" had to be apart of the equation but when I'd come to the conclusion that maybe I wasn't bear, it always felt wrong. Like as soon as I take "bear" away from the situation I feel incomplete. So I've known for a while that this is apart of me, I've had to accept that just like I eventually accepted the other aspects of myself. I just wasn't sure what the bear parts meant until today. It's always been the part that's more in the background. The bear in me doesn't scream "HEY I'M A BEAR" like the other two aspects do. But it's not a whisper either, it's just a presence. A solid, constant presence. Even still these are all just postulations and theories I've come to through self-reflection. So they may not even be 100% correct...
Let's start by covering some things I haven't talked about on this site before. I've come to the conclusion that I am a manufactured "mega-predator". Like the liger and the tigon (and maybe the pizzly bear) I probably shouldn't exist but here I am anyway. It may be because of humans in the past that wanted a specific creature so they made it happen somehow. Or it could be some spiritual otherworldly reason. I came to this conclusion a while ago but I'm still not sure why I'm this way...just that I am. Looking at myself I realize that it's not natural to feel like this. Someone I know referred to it as 'impure' once. I never thought that what I was could be impure because I'd always taken pride in my abilities. My abilities to stretch past the physical/mental limitations of other predators. I'd always looked at myself as what could be called a 'pure predator'. A creature with the ability to be a more efficient predator than other predators could be. So in my eyes I was 'pure' enough or at least I wasn't impure. But when looking at it from that person's point of view I see why they called it an impurity. I am an oddity of nature. I am no animal on this earth. I have characteristics of many animals, therefore I am a "chimera", but I am like no ONE animal. That makes me more of a concocted monstrosity than a natural occuring creature. So now that you are all caught up I can talk about bears ! ^^
I have these characteristics because each one allows me to surpass limitations that the other characteristic has. At least that's why I think I have all these characteristics. I believe I am something with the physique of a lion,with long legs and the snout of a wolf, and now I've come to understand that I have the resolution of a bear (my size may also come from the bear traits). I can surpass the lion's lack of stamina with my canine traits. I can surpass the wolf's smaller and more fragile frame with my feline traits. But I am not just a feline and a canine. Those are two very high energy creatures. I would look and feel different if I was just a canine and feline. I wouldn't be this thing that I am now. I think the bear parts fill in the holes left that my canine and feline aspects cannot fill. Holes that would make me less 'efficient'. Wolves are jumpy and can be extremely skittish causing them to miss out on opportunities for food and overall 'conquest' (with good reason though because they've evolved to work with other wolves). Felines can be extremely evasive, distant and secretive causing them to spend a large amount of their energy staying out of sight (which is good because most felines are ambush hunters and work well with being elusive and distant). I have pretty much all these attributes but those things seem to be tempered down by the ursine qualities I have. Bears are more resolute in their behavior. Of the three, bears are slower and more apt to conserve energy. A bear will sit and observe and wait until there is no more time left for waiting and then they will act accordingly. I feel that a cat or a canine will not be so quick to do nothing. I believe it's because these creatures can't afford to get injured as much. In the world of lions and wolves an injury that keeps you from running or fighting keeps you from living. So lions and wolves must be quick to move and react.
Bears are omnivores and don't always rely on such a high energy life style to survive. Bears by nature are more steady and can be very diplomatic. I couldn't imagine myself being a canine/feline by itself. Could you imagine? I believe such a creature would be more like a tornado (like Taz the tasmanian devil?), ripping and running, acting and reacting all the time. Not as steady. Not as solid. Quicker to make a decision and more high energy. But if you slow things down a bit and change the size and temperament of such a creature it makes a rather stable predator. Not perfect, at least not in the sense that it can do anything and isn't flawed. Maybe 'well equiped' is a better term, in the sense that such a creature could be any kind of predator it wanted whether it be an ambush predator, a runner/ endurance hunter or the type that wrestles its prey with brute force. This predator would have the capacity be a jack of all trades, manufactored to be adaptable and effective. Of course I have my preferences on how to move, think, and interact with my surroundings. I act mostly like a big fat cat most of the time, but if say I was shifted and had to switch from endurance running to wrestling my victim/opponent I could make that switch. Or if I was hunting and an ambush failed I could switch to endurance and run my quarry down. I am not as swift footed as a wolf or as bulky as a lion or as thick as a bear so I'd never be able to do the job as well as those animals who were made for what they do...but I have enough of each ability to be able to push myself past some of the everyday limits those animals face.
So no I don't believe nature just poofed my 'chimera gene' into existance (though it's possible that such a thing could happen or that "the spirits" saw fit to fuck with me...i have no idea). I am not a coincidence. I believe some THING had a hand in forming me. Like how purebred dogs today were formed and guided into existance by humans, but whos raw materials sprouted from and are rooted in nature. I am a tool to be used to get to some kind of end, like a hunter uses his pointer to catch prey animals or a farmer uses a horse to pull a wagon. Someone or something wanted me to be this way and having things in common with bears makes me a better version of whatever tool I'm supposed to be... Or maybe my feelings are totally off. Sometimes I sit down and think "Maybe I'm completely wrong. Maybe I'm not this creature. It's ok to be wrong Arcover, remember that." Maybe it's all in my head and I'm telling myself things I want to hear on some level. Not that I'd ever imagine I'd want to hear all this.
PS this is a super long post. If you read all that you're crazy.
|Posted by Arcover on November 10, 2013 at 2:50 AM||comments (7)|
I just had a realization earlier today. I'm not sure how much of it is a realization or more of a theory but here it goes:
I was reflecting on things earlier today. I noticed that I have a small collection of supernatual (and a few non supernatural) callers. By that I mean guys that identify as supernatural (mostly therians or weres) who find my company pleasurable. And by pleasurable I literally mean "pleasurable". Which I found interesting because my shifting trigger IS pleasure. Feeding off of it, in particular. All forms of it, whether it be desire, selfindulgence, passion, etc. They all taste amazing and they're all pretty powerful emotions. Some people may find that a little off putting as a shifting trigger so I don't talk about it in detail often but now I'm going to talk about it a little.
We've been talking about triggers a lot on this site lately and I never made the connection until now. I've always been a selfgratifying, selfindulgent, impatient, pleasure seeker. I like fantastic food and all the newest electronics and toys and gadgets and money. I like consuming things. It's shallow but it's me. The greatest delicacy for me to consume is "pleasure" itself. Bought items can cause me to feel it for a short time but the emotion of pleasure itself is better than any of those other paltry trinkets. It's a bit tantric when you think about it and I love it. I'll see if I can explain better below...
I've tried ignoring it but I think now it's something I need to talk about so that I can understand it better. It's like my need to consume pleasurable emotions draws people in. That leads them to stay around and feel those awesome feelings for themselves. The feeling of desire is almost as pleasurable as the satisfaction of getting that thing you want. The aniticipation of something great is in itself great, so you stay close to the person that inspires those feelings (if that makes sense). Staying close makes you feel good. It breeds some level of contentment and comfortability. And if you finally DO get that thing you've longed for then your selfgratification reaches its peak and you can revel in it as much as you want while it's there. Only to wait in eager anticipation for the next time you will be able to revel in life's most amazing sensations.
See, look at that^ The unintentional ramblings of a girl who feeds off of the selfgratifying feelings. I could go on and on about how amazing it feels to wrap yourself in the warm folds of selfindulgence but I won't. The point is. That is my trigger. It unhinges me in ways no other emotion can. I avoid it because it sends me on a pretty fast descent into frenzied madness (and shape shifting) that I may never find my way back from but I want it because it fuels me. It's very specific too...I don't seem to inspire any other feeling so automatically or get power from any other feeling as quickly. It's almost like a trance. So someone may stick around me because my aura or whatever inspires "pleasure" but that feeling they feel is only one singular feeling. This trance doesn't inspire love. It doesn't inspire devotion or understanding or hate or despair. Only pleasure.
I'm not saying this because I feel any kind if pride about it. Hell, it could just be a collection of coincidences made to look like I have some effect on people. As a matter of fact it's quite painful sometimes that people only come around you when they want their fix of the feeling good. It's a greedy emotion and it makes people lose themselves for that small amount of time. They don't care if they have a girlfriend already or if they promised themselves they wouldn't, the need to indulge is just too basic. They still feel those emotions like 'love' but that emotion can't exist while the trance is happening. I guess it depends on which emotion is stronger too though.
Sometimes it makes me feel a bit crappy, but it's still a feeling I created. It's something I love and understand deeply. I know where to touch each individual person I meet, how to act, when and how to speak in order to make people feel good and loose... Even if I didn't exactly 'create' the feeling of pleasure itself I can make people think about it on some level. I'm the common denominator with all these people that kind of gravitate and stick close. All of them exuding that same feeling and energy. I love it because they are creating the exact thing I feed off of, but I hate it because they all unintentionally treat me like I treat the things I consume. It's interesting really. I create the energy I like to eat by making people want to eat me (in a figurative sense haha I hope...).
Anyway, I thought that maybe, if my trigger is "selfindulgence" at its finest...and if I can inspire these feelings in other people. Does every were's trigger work like that? Like if one were's ultimate shifting trigger happens to involved blood drinking. Does that were's aura strike fear into people because his trigger would spell pain for them? Or does it make those people want to cut themselves without meaning to? What if another were's trigger was sadness? Would they cause sadness in people? or draw sad people closer to them? What about if a trigger was happiness? Or healing? I feel as if every were has that one thing that will undoubtedly make them shift. It's different for each person because being a were changes with each person, but in the end do we all have a certain ultimate trigger that shapes us? If shifting is in our blood then our bodies are primed and ready for the shift. What if our bodies are also trying to help the shift by affecting the energies of those around us in a way that would cause a shift to happen? I remember Szayel mentioning how he scared people and how his trigger may have something to do with hunting prey. Any normal sane human would be afraid of a predator and predators feed off of that fear. Those two things could be related.
|Posted by Szayel on November 5, 2013 at 3:45 PM||comments (19)|
Sorry about my recent absences on this site. Sometimes I get really busy, and communicating with others in general is difficult. I will be more active.
During these past couple of days, weeks maybe, I have begun to realize something extremely important about P-shifting or shifting in general. This realization was unearthed during a conversation with Arcover, but now that I think about it--anytime I think about it-- my intuition screams at me that this is something I have not only known this entire time but is also the stepping stone to many of my questions.
It is the key to P-shifting.
Now I know that some of you are thinking, "How can you base this off of your intuition? Isn't that against what this site is about?" It is true that I'm basing this off of intuition, and that isn't exactly a foundamental science, but I know deep down that this feeling is something important. It is the same feeling that makes my fingers tremble with excitement even as I type out this blog post. If I were to be so bold, I could compare this feeling to that of Alexander Flemming when he discovered the key to what we now know of as penicillin. That feeling of, "Wait, maybe I should investigate this little further; it could be important" gut feeling.
This feeling that I have, it's because I think there is another, much more effiecient, way to shifting. Before, my only two ways to P-shifting were meditation and extreme emotions such as anger, sorrow, or even vibrant happiness. The meditation route, as seen by my somewhat popular "Shifting Trials," was a safe, productive way to the path of shifting, but unfortunately it reaped little results. Whenever I tried to shift through meditation, it just felt like I couldn't gather enough focus nor Energy. It felt like I wasn't making progress as quickly as I would like, and eventually I abandoned the trials while I soul-searched for a better method.
The only other method I knew at the time, however, was the second one: extreme emotion. That way of shifting was almost guaranteed to get me the results I wanted, but the process was so hard to replicate that I really couldn't put it on camera even if I wanted to. Those moments were the most pathetic, gut-wretching moments of my life. I didn't want to replicate that for the whole world to see.
That left me with no options. I couldn't use extreme emotions, nor could I use meditation. So what happens then?
I explore the woods surrounding my new neighborhood with my younger brother. Almost every day of the summer, we spend our time venturing off into a part of the area that was unknown to us until we were satisfied with the knowledge that we had explored every inch of it. During those many voyages, my brother and I came across various wildlife. The wildlife that stuck out at me, though, was the deer. Almost like an itch in my head, I couldn't figure out why I was so annoyed with the deer. My brother and I would sometimes chase them, but after the chase came to a end I would always feel the same:
"Where are their predators?"
It's an odd question to think about, much more to write, but nontheless it kept popping into my head. I realized that the reason I was so bothered, obssessed maybe, about the deer was because my predatoral instincts as a werewolf kicked in. I wasn't chasing these deer for fun, I was chasing them because I wanted to catch them. I wanted to hunt them.
No, I'm not talking about hunting them as in "Game and rifle," but as in a true, 1 vs 1 game of combat. I wanted to get some of my favorite premodern combat weapons (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_premodern_combat_weapons) and engage the dear. If they could beat me, they won--lived--and if I beat them then they lost--died. Nothing personal about it, just rugged, harsh fact.
I realized that this feeling brought me closer to shifting than almost all the other methods I had ever tried before. Just the thought of it was enough to send me spiralling into a delicious M-shift.
And it still does. I have discovered the third way to P-shift, and probably the most effective way, hence me calling it the "key." In order for me to unlock my shifting abilities, I need to engage myself against wildlife prey and hunt them. Trying to sit down on the floor criss-cross-applesauce is not going to get me to shift, this is. That is probably why the second method of shifting, extreme emotions, allows me to shift so easily because it stems from the emotional high of pursuing your prey. Maybe in the future I'll be able to sit down and shift through meditation, but I know that right now I simply do not have that ability. I have come to terms with my werewolfism mentally; now I need to come to terms with it physically. I may not be able to put it into a pretty little box perfect for analyzing and observing just yet, but I know deep down that I must take this leap of faith in order to get to that point of putting werewolfism into an objective light.
That's all that I have to say so far about my recent relevation. I'm sorry for not cutting to the chase sooner in my blog, but I felt like I needed to really paint my feelings on this one. This new way of shifting excites me, and I can't wait to share with all of you my progress.
|Posted by Szayel on October 11, 2013 at 5:30 PM||comments (1)|
My family really wasn't slain by a werewolf pack, but I know that many of you must think that I have some kind of deep-seated grudge against werewolf packs. Maybe I wanted to be in one, and I got roughly declined. Maybe I wanted my own and could never manage the time. Mabye they just stole my favorite Beyblade when I was a kid, and I never got over it.
I will assure you that this is not the case. While I do have a sort of Harrison Bergeron campaign going on against werewolf packs on this site, it is not for any personal reasons. I promise. The reason why I am so against the talk of packs is because, well, people advertise their packs. In my honest opinion, packs should not be a thing that should be shown off across the interwebs as some sort of supernatural-trophy. Not only is it insulting to people who are actually dedicated to their packs, it is also counterproductive to the whole idea of a "pack." Do you see wolves going around flashing off their pack status to as many other wolves as they can? Do they come back from a nice hunt and howl, "Lol, look at us we have so many pack members!!!11! Beware other packs! We're taking ur moose!"
Of course not. So why does it seem like every Sally and John has a werewolf pack that they just can't wait to show off? Werewolf packs are meant to be a family, and while I don't know about you, I'm rather reluctant to have an obnoxiously large family-- I can barely stand them as it is already sometimes.
Which brings me to another point: What happened to those popular internet packs that everyone was so fond of to join?
I'm talking about sites like Razgriz. Last I heard, it crashed and burned because of stupid internet drama and is currently recuperating from the plague we know as posers. That just goes to show that internet packs are NOT good for legit, progressive werewolf sites. They tend to create unnecessary drama and take away from the focus at hand. I refuse to let my site end up like that.
Now that I have finished explaining why I don't allow packs on this site (bar a specified forum discussion) I would like to talk about some other stuff that has been on my mind. I have decided to start up with my werewolf research, and I am going to put together another werewolf survey. I really dislike doing surveys because they are statistic based, and we all know what they say about statistics (80% of statistics say that statistics are worthless) since a topic like werewolves is kinda hard to put in survey format, but It's not like I have any other options at the moment, and I'm not going to sit here and dwindle my thumbs while I wait for more concrete information. Progress is progress.
And with this, I end my first true blog in a while.